Mexico 2022 - A Few Thoughts on Age

 In idle moments, for instance on a 4 hour plane trip, well 5 actually as we were on the tarmac for almost an hour before taking off, my mind wanders.  As I stated in my earlier post I recently turned 65. Several months ago waiting for one of the free summer symphonies in the park to begin, I mentioned to my friend, my roommate in San Francisco during our younger years, that I never thought of myself, in those days of yore, about myself at this age. I still don't quite know what to make of it. I recognize there has been a certain physical decline,. The sagging of my once firm chin is these days camouflaged with a beard. I take longer to get over illness of recover from a particularly brutal gym workout. 

He and I discussed once, after seeing an elderly person painfully board a bus, how much physical decline I will be willing to accept. I take reasonably good care of myself, eat fairly well, don't drink to excess, my drug days are long over. My gym and summer biking are important parts of my routine. 

I'm told I don't look my age, although I am at a loss as to what my age looks like. Unfortunately the plague of the gay community  that was AIDS has pretty well wiped out the drug tripping, dance floor pounding club kids the were my cohorts in my 20's. There are few I can compare myself to. 

Through happenstance and frugality I have managed to semi retire, working only three days of the week. I have spent most of my working life in retail, much of it in management, which necessitated more than my share of 50 and 60 hour weeks. I feel I have earned the privilege of being able to ease off my work schedule and enjoy time. I attend the aforementioned free symphonies in the park during the summer and member lectures at the Art Institute. I actually enjoy running errands, doing them at a leisurely pace, taking in the sights and sounds of the world around me as I do. 

I have always stated that, as long as I have mobility and my mental marbles, I don't mind age. With age comes a certain wisdom, if one is willing to accept it, that can only be gained through time. 

One last point, if I don't like something, a piece of art or music, a performance or political viewpoint, someone's fashion sense I may consider misguided, I no longer feel that I have to explain why. I'm 65, I just don't like it, so there!

 

Mexico 2022 - Leaving Fall Color Behind

 As I looked out from the rear seat of the cab on the way to O'hare the fall colors were at their peak. When we drove through the forest preserve which abutted the road on each side both the driver and I were dazzled by the bright yellows and oranges and russet reds of the trees the blazing crimson fire bushes at their base. Nature shamelessly flaunted its autumn beauty.

I am enroute to Guadalajara. It is my third visit to the historic city, the second largest in Mexico. I had turned 65 recently. I wanted to celebrate this milestone birthday. Guadalajara is somewhat familiar to me, will give me a nice fair weather break before the onslaught of a Midwest winter, and is, by U.S. standards, extremely affordable

The security line winds around the stretchy black stantions resembling, as airport security lines do, a slithering snake composed of humanity. I hear crying children, I hope they are not on my flight. I see morbidly obese people pass by, I pray they are not seated next to me. 

They tell you to get to the airport three hours before an international flight. Sometimes I feel that this  advise is the result of a back room deal between the airport concessions and the airline industry. 

As I cleared security a sense of freedom and a slight euphoria came over me. Perhaps the same primal feeling a caged animal or bird feels once it is released. 

Three sailors in Cracker Jack uniforms passed by. Tiny birds, trapped in the terminal, hoped across the floor, orthodox Jews faced the of wall of windows of the terminal, which looks out over the airfield, saying their prayers.

I wait, trying to time my airport meal so that I am not famished by the time I reach my destination. As I wandered through the terminal  I discovered that some of the restrooms are designated as severe weather areas. I was oddly comforted by the thought that if a tornado came through I would still have a place to pee. 

State of the Union 4/27/2022

 About the time I semi retired I was gifted with a Kindle. A friend had one lying fallow in his home. I always vowed, when my work schedule demanded less of my time, that I would read. It was my intention to read esteemed writers I felt obligated to make time for. Mark Twain, Jack London, F. Scott Fitzgerald, I tried to read Hemmingway but just couldn't connect and gave up. I've even downloaded a collection of fairy tales by Oscar Wilde. These are authors whose work I have enjoyed in the past or who I feel I should expose myself to. It is the same as my attending the symphonies in the park to better acquaint myself with classical music. Also the classic books and symphony are free, so that's a plus. 

However, it has become evident that, at least to some of the U.S. population, education is viewed in a negative light. That because I find my soul refreshed by quality literature and great music, by travel, art, theatre and ballet, all of which I afford on a modest budget, I am somehow aloof, an elite, someone to be mistrusted and an object of scorn. 

I do not know when education and exposure to new ideas, forms and cultures became something negative Perhaps it is because many people with these views do not seek, even resist seeking  alternative viewpoints and life experiences outside their bubble. 

It is fine if people want to live like that, although I feel some sorrow that they may never experience the beauty and joy I have found in the world. It is when they have, and feel they are entitled to, an outsized share of government power, in proportion to their numbers, and this power affects the lives of other citizens, that I become concerned for myself, those I love and the country I grew up in. I am frustrated and dismayed that a minority is able to keep a majority from moving forward. 

If they are upset because they may find things about my  life style, or the life style of others, which harm no one, offensive, simply don't look. I will disagree with but respect their views, as long as they do not contain feelings of hate for others, and ask them to respect mine. But I do not see this. They attempt to legislate things they do not like into nonexistence. However these things will still exist, but, once again, be pushed underground, to the extreme detriment to some. They wish to recreate an idealized version of the U.S. that never really existed outside of television. 

I do not know how it ends. Perhaps a younger generation will rise up, in their own way, as we did and demand justice and equality for all, compassion for others and the right to love and marry who we choose. Our nation needs to progress into the future, not regress to a fictionalized past. 

New York City - 10/13/80 - 8:30 p.m.

 Didn't write on the plane on account of no pen. Got up and packed then went for lunch. The trip to JFK and check in was was uneventful. The plane however was 30 minutes late taking off, some baggage mix up. Then heavy winds delayed us another 15 minutes so we arrived at 9:30. Mom and A (my stepfather/2022) were too burned out to call beforehand to see if the plane was gonna be on time, then the baggage was late getting on the carousel because a garment bag got caught, then we had trouble getting out of the parking lot because Mom and A went in the wrong entrance. 

At home J (my roommate/2022) was expecting J (I guess a boyfriend, I don't really remember/2022) and wanted me to stay up. I did till about 11:30 and then couldn't deal with it anymore. I went to bed. Sat next to a lawyer on the way back who proceeded to get smashed all the way home. 

Work was alright. I took a contact to help with my cold and was spaced all day. Had lunch with S.T. (a coworker/2022), dished people in the store. Got invited to her Halloween party November 1st. Went home early because I couldn't deal with it and was falling asleep. 

Wallpaper starts tomorrow, also have an interview with one of the other models for the fashion show (male), god only knows what I'm going to do with his hair!

Cleaned, took a nap, quiet night at home etc.

2022 Several things stood out to me as I transcribed this, my yearning to return home, which persists to this day when traveling, my distaste for New York, which persists to this day when visiting it, and my extreme innocence and naivete, which has changed with the trials and experiences of life over the last 40 plus years. 

New York City-10/11/80-7 p.m.

 Play was about an 8 - music was pleasant, acting was the pits but not the actor's fault, on the directors. An actor can only do so much when he's not told what to do. Then went out drinking. At Boot and Saddle met a woman and her 4 male companions, 2 were lovers, two might have been and one of those was a dance teacher from Akron, Ohio so we had something to talk about. They left, I left and as I walked out the door there was the group smoking a joint. I joined them and then came home to find C's (my host/2022) door shut. 

Figuring it was an improper time to enter S & J (two of my hosts roommates/2022) asked me to join them at a jazz bar down the street. The band was hot, the drinks were exorbitant (like everywhere) but I had a good time and met a woman who had spent the summer in S.F., found out she likes S.F. better than N.Y.C. although she's moving to Boston. 

Drunk for days when I got home. Am getting along better with C's roommates (except E). S and I and J had a great time last night, E and I have had several interesting talks and C has a hidden charm. Last night before I went to the show J and E and S had to check out what I was wearing and ok it. 

This morning went to Macys and shopped around town. Bought an Empire State building with a thermometer in it and a tacky ashtray. P (my hosts boyfriend/2022) and I ate lunch at Nathan's and drank (again) at Boot and Saddle. There we met a fascinating man that ran a store in the village and kept us entertained talking with us until we discovered we were late getting back to meet C. 

The subway stopped running at 96th. The only way to get home was to take an express to 135th and take a local back (MTA fucks up again). P and I walked from 96th. Got to the dorm and E's (my hosts roommate/2022) mother, father, sister, sister's boyfriend, sister's boyfriend's brother and his roommate were all over. E's sister's boyfriend's brother and his roommate had lived in the 600 block of Powell in S.F., so we talked S.F. politicians and locales. It was wonderful. Her boyfriend (?) was overtly friendly as was one of J's friends (male) last night. I wondered if they wee bi or just friendly or if I don't look gay on this coast or just what. Ah well. Meeting S (my host's friend/2022) tonight (if all goes as planned) and then off to home (thank god!) tomorrow. Will write on the plane or sometime tomorrow. 

It will be so nice to be back home.

New York City - 10/10/80 - 5:30 p.m.

 Last night was a wreck! New York New York (the club we went to) was a boring bomb. $12 worth (door charge plus $3 drink, taxi and $1 coat check) of a disaster. But we danced and I tried to forget about it. So we left about 1 and went to G's (my hosts friend/2022), had coffee ice creme with a liqueur poured over it and a joint and pretty much salvaged the evening. G admitted that to be assured a good time one had to go to the gay places. 

Today we got up late and tried to settle the key problem. They changed all the locks so we didn't have enough keys (every one does except C (my host/2022) and I are sharing a set.) What a mess. 

C and I went out to the Cloisters, a large building filled with Medieval art. A little dull same for the unicorn tapestries. They were beautiful. 

The subway going was a mess - they kept emptying out the trains for some unknown reason (we took the bus home). Got a print of the unicorn tapestry for myself, a small plaque of it for mom and two libra cards, one for me and one to use as mom's birthday card. 

Ate lunch at the Unicorn Café which was very pleasant. I'll be going to the theatre to see Act/Road tonight, then play a little afterward. I'll shop downtown tomorrow, see S (my hosts friend) tomorrow night and then leave Sunday. 

Will be very happy to get back to S.F. I really don't like New Yorkers, they're rude, tactless and very cold. Also they're snobbish (about the city and themselves). It is a wonderful city culturally but I feel the cons outnumber the pros. Not even counting snow, which I haven't had to deal with yet. The weather was cooler and overcast today (which was kind of pleasant actually). I'm ready to get back though (homesick city). Will mellow out through tomorrow and the next day and then breathe a sigh of relief to be home, although the paperwork on Monday is a little frightening.

Anyway, more later. 

2022 I still remember that dismal night club. It might have been somewhat more interesting if there had actually been people there. I will admit it was fun to have the velvet stanchion unhooked and held aside for us as we approached. Seeing the small number of people inside the thrill quickly faded. 

. 

New York City - 10/09/1980 - 6 p.m,

 Finished the Met. Called the Museum of Modern Art and discovered they were closed. It was o.k., the crème of their European collection was loaned to the Met including Rousseau's Dream and The Sleeping Gypsy and, the high point, worth the $6 to get into the Met twice, Van Gogh's Starry Night.

Went downtown, looked at S & L's (Seligman and Latz, my employer at the time/ 2021) offices in the Tishman Building (great building, tacky cramped offices) what did I expect. Went into Bergdorf Goodman, crowded, less expensive than I had originally thought. Went into a bookstore, Coliseum Books, bought a book by a semi-unknown cartoonist and also Oliphant's book of political cartoons (pure heaven). Picked up a print and postcard at the Met when I left there and then stopped off at a discount store and bought two scarves, one for me (white) and one for A (my stepfather /2021), then walked forever (as usual) to find a subway entrance. They can be mouther fuckers to find. 

I had finished everything I wanted to do save the Cloisters tomorrow and Macy's on Saturday. Saturday is my big fuck around day. 

Got on the subway and coming home IT BROKE DOWN!!!! People who live here don't even have that happen to them. I'm so lucky. They managed to drag ass into the 96th St. Station and I decided to walk from there. How can I describe sitting in a crowded, hot, sweaty subway car? Miserable doesn't quite do it justice. Keeping chic is out no matter what you're wearing. Sweatsville! Anyway, it being 96th St. I got out and walked the rest of the way (only 20 blocks or so). Took a nap in expectation of this evenings festivities. Not a very busy or exciting day (except for the 3 hours or so I spent at the Met), but enjoyable.

2021 - This was the first time I saw A Starry Night. I have had the good fortune since to see it twice more. A friend of mine suggests that it looks like matter changing into anti matter and then changing back. The canvas throws out waves of emotion which made me literally take a step back in the Met that day.