Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Coronavirus19 Diary - Random Thoughts on Life and Living

A couple of years ago a man, who I did not know, responded to a comment I made attacking me for my choice and love of an urban lifestyle. He suggested that if society were to fall apart, because of my reliance on advanced civilization and public transportation I would be, and I quote "among the first to die", a statement I found unnecessarily harsh, and, truth be told, somewhat comic. I, in what I admit was a lack of judgement, responded, pointing out that my lifestyle was not for everyone but suited me. He continued in his doomsday attacks predicting my eminent demise until a woman, who I also did not know, came to my defense calling the man, and I quote "a hateful troll", which I also found comic, but in a different way. 

I attempt to understand those that cling to the act of living for the sake of living only. I am not one of these. If the world were to disintegrate into a dystopian Mad Max style wasteland it would be difficult for me to rationalize fighting just to survive. If I cannot experience theater, great art, music or merely the simple pleasure of  lying on a beach listening to the sound of waves lapping at the shore, if my life is not enriching to myself, and ideally to other people I care for or even have a fleeting encounter with, if I cannot laugh or feel joy, it is not life, merely living. 

I see comments as I scroll through articles about the stay at home orders presently in effect where people are willing to quarantine for 12 months, in some cases 18 months, in some cases indefinitely. They react in fear of something they cannot see. They cling to the thought of living, with little regard to life.

I wonder, on occasion, how people under military siege operate. How they find the courage to wake each morning and move through the day. Perhaps it is due to the human capacity for hope. Hope that the next day, next week, next month will be better than the last. That your world, however badly rent apart, will one day begin to mend.

I hold the belief, despite those that tear their emotional hair out on line and in the media, that my world will heal. I will be able to return to my soul enriching urban existence. That we will be allowed to stop marking time sitting at home and return to life.

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