Guadalajara 2016 - A Mexican Meltdown

It became apparent early on that the modest amount of money I had exchanged at the airport would not come anywhere close to covering my financial needs during my stay. I stopped by the nearest bank and inserted my ATM card. I went through the motions of entering my PIN, amount needed etc. only to be informed "this function", meaning giving me money, "can not be completed at this time". I tried the ATM next to it receiving the same response. I went into the lobby. "Habla Ingles" I queried, one of a small handful of Spanish expressions I know. A young, cute verging on adorable, bank employee replied yes and went out to the ATM's with me. With his assistance we achieved the same result. He reassured me, as I began to consider panicking wondering what was wrong and how I would get through the next several days, that their machines often had problems recognizing foreign cards. His wife, he further explained, was Belgian and had problems as well. Due to my many years of homosexuality my automatic internal response was "Damn, cute, straight and married!" He directed me to another bank 2 blocks away. I got my cash without further incident and returned to the hotel. I retired to the rooftop pool and, feeling the warm sun on my pale, winter white flesh, did experience a Mexican meltdown, but of the most pleasurable sort.