Wednesday, April 25, 2012

What Are You Wearing?

I was recently laid off and so have been doing the job search thing. During an interview for a position with a well known luxury watch retailer the interviewer mentioned that their product started at $3,000 on the low end and $380,000 on the high end. I kept my composure and got through the remainder of the interview even though thoughts began bouncing about inside my head colliding together like billiard balls.

$380,000 for a watch! Does it come with a person that walks beside you to tell you what time it is? What does it look like? If I were to lay out that kind of money for a watch I'm not sure I would want it to be so elegant, restrained and tasteful that it would disappear on my arm! If I'm spending that much on a watch it needs to elicit comments such as "What a lovely timepiece" or, said quietly, whispered behind a hand "Did you see that garish thing? I can't believe she's wearing that!"

Which brings me to the wedding of Prince Charles to Camilla, who will one day, along with Marie Antoinette, take her place among the great royal whores in history. To begin with, why would Charles have an affair with the horse faced Camilla when he had the lovely, elegant Diana in the royal bed at home in the palace. But I digress.

According to English protocol, all women attending the wedding were required to wear hats. In true blueblood fashion, they spent a great deal of time, effort and expense to "one up" each other regarding their headgear. As the guests arrived at the Abbey, recall this was televised the world over, it became a parade of the most ridiculous array of ladies chapeaus that history has ever seen.
Some of the hats looked as if they were straining the neck muscles of those wearing them. Others seemed to defy the laws of gravity. While still others appeared to have sprung from the imagination of Dr. Seuss.

Finally, we were treated to a close up of the gentleman, himself a queen though not of royal blood, responsible for the design of many of the hats on display. As the camera closed in on him the look on his face seemed to say, "Oh my god. That was a joke! I can't believe she's actually wore that!"

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